Just like you humans, a lot of squirrels that I know love to tell “tall tales”---you know, the ones that kind of stretch the truth.

 Like my uncle Almo.  He cites the experts who say that you will need 60 – 80% of your pre- retirement earnings to live on in retirement.  “I’ll need fewer acorns every month.   I ask him why and he says, “I won’t be needing dress up clothes for work---I won’t have commuting expenses---I won’t have to pay the kid’s college tuition bills and the mortgage on the house will be paid off.”

 What Almo and some humans don’t realize is that these expenses do disappear but others crop up.  Life will not be cheaper in retirement. Your medical expenses can be considerably higher (arthroscopic surgery on your knee or knee replacement).  Medical insurance premiums always go up every year.  According to a recent survey of more than 400 large companies offering retiree health benefits, by the Henry J. Kaiser foundation and Hewitt Associates, 22 percent of the firms said they are likely to eliminate health benefits for future retirees. 

 You may need to make repairs on the house (a new heating system, roof, Jacuzzi, etc).  And of course, taxes on everything always go up.  You’ll probably be taking more and longer vacation trips to see the kids and the grand kids (you have to take them to Disney---all grandparents do).  Sometimes the kids come back home to live (oh boy!!!).  And my retired friends tell me they love to eat out—buffet specials at 4p.m. and take home the doggy bag.  Expensive hobbies need money.  What will it cost to play a round of golf on your favorite course this year?  Just try covering all of these increased expenses on your annual Social Security cost of living inflation allowance (COLA) of 1.4 percent for 2002 --- an extra $13 a month for the typical retiree. 

 And, there is a lot of evidence that people may live much longer in the future. In this scenario, you will need even more money for your retirement.  Just make sure that you don’t run out of money before you run out of days.  Check your life expectancy table at www.irs.gov/pub/irs.

 And, if the truth be known, Elmo, like one-third of all workers, has never tried to calculate how much money he will need each month in retirement. 

 So, I will tell you what I tell Almo.  Sure, some expenses will be gone or decrease in retirement but as sure as the Sun comes up in the morning, a good number of others will increase or start to appear.  And remember, in retirement, inflation doesn’t stop but your weekly paycheck will.  How’s that for some sage advice?   And, by the way---speaking of medical expenses, do you know a doctor who performs knee replacement for squirrels?  If you do, send me an e-mail.  Aunt Dorothy is having a terrible problem. 

 “Advice would always be more acceptable if it didn’t conflict with our plans.”

New England proverb